From being injured and barely doing anything to “full on”.  Today was the start of the Vancouver Sun Run InTraining Clinic and, like last year, I’m helping with the Run 10k Faster group. This is a jump for me, being injured for so long it’s like going from zero — or almost — to sixty in nothing flat. But I made it. The group has some new people, some returning, and everyone did a great job.  I made it too, which I’m happy about. Of course, I went home and napped for about 3 hours afterwards. But I felt great, and it’s nice that I’ve still got it — even if it’s more than perhaps I’d do if I were building my running back up on my own.
This also reminds me of an area of my life that I love. I love my communities. They are amazing, supportive, friendly, and I love my life. I may be missing something significant, but I love it here. I have what I want, and I don’t want to build a new life. But how can I not? I’m not getting what really matters? I’ve got a project that I’m doing to help deal with my headspace, and as a statement of ‘faith’ — that in general (NOT specifically related to H.D.) I’m not going to stay in this crappy place — and I’m looking at it right now and I don’t have much faith that I’ll ever leave this muddle of a place in my life.  But I need to go forward and process. Prepare for headspace distractions and look forward to new and good things.
All I can say is that running definitely helps this feeling of being miserable — I feel more myself again. Even if I’m not yet feeling as strong as I would normally like to be.  So all and all, this life I’m in is very weird, and I know this flux can’t last.