Today’s migraine is finally dissipating.  Thankfully. But, it has been nice to be able to rest, recover, sleep.
I am feeling slightly better emotionally, though I still don’t know who I can trust, and I still feel betrayed by some friends. But, I need to learn from this experience. I realize that with the intensity of my life of late, I’m feeling pretty sensitive and raw and that makes things like what’s gone on worse.  In some cases details of my intensity aren’t known — though the presence of it is known.  It makes me doubt the friendship of some of those same friends who I commented on earlier as making me feel cared for.  So I’m feeling betrayed and hurt. The words that were said to me yesterday, hurt, and it makes me feel full of doubt.  Not that there are sides to take, but it did feel like ‘sides’ were formed somehow (though I don’t know why). Hence feeling betrayed by my friends.
So will I take a break? Yes, probably. From the social dynamics. Though I will take the classes that I’d wanted to. I’ll try to dance in Seattle if I can afford the gas to get down there. But I need to get out of this dynamic because it’s neither good nor healthy and it’s just damaging me and making me trust people less and less. And there are certain people who I value and really still trust and I don’t want those relationships damaged or wrecked as so many others seem to be.
I don’t know that it will take long before I’m back in the local dance scene, but I think I need to see about building something new. I just don’t know what that is.